Sour Milk
by RuthieTudor
Summary: Dave forgets who he is for a while. Noel thinks of a way to bring him back. Tiny oneshot worth reading


Dave Brown stepped outside into the clean – well, as clean as it ever got – London air. He pulled off the head piece to his Bollo costume and glared into the sunlight.

"Alright, mate?" Noel followed him outside, genuinely concerned. Dave had been acting strangely all day. He'd been missing cues and fumbling for words since they'd started filming.

Dave took a moment and thought, "Probably. Just tired, I think."

Noel nodded and the men sat down next to each other on two conveniently placed plastic chairs. They stayed silent for a while, both enjoying their short holiday away from the hot set.

Finally, Noel turned to Dave, "It's been a shocker of a week, huh?"

Dave nodded. They'd been filming the third series of The Mighty Boosh while planning another live tour, all while Dave was trying to juggle various other hobbies and jobs. He felt as though he woke up every morning wondering if he was cut out for this. Even better, he couldn't think of a time in his life when he'd been in the Bollo suit for this long. He'd felt as though Bollo were a part of him for a long time now, but it seemed like Bollo was coming out more than usual, lately.

"You sure you're alright, Dave?"

Noel's question pulled Dave from his thoughts, "Huh?"

Noel looked worried, "Maybe you should take a break. Get out of that suit. Don't want you passing out during filming." Noel grinned and elbowed Dave, obviously joking. Dave tried to smile.

"Nah, I'm fine. I just need a minute. Do ya mind?" He shrugged and leaned against the back of the chair, sitting in an almost perfect diagonal line.

Noel didn't stop looking worried for his old friend but he nodded, "Sure." He stood up and walked away, glancing back at Dave once more before entering the huge brick building.

Dave took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Before he knew it, he was asleep, dreaming of forests and djs.

When he awoke, Dave couldn't remember where he was or how he got there. In fact, he didn't think he was supposed to be here at all. This wasn't a place he'd ever been before.

He stood up and put his hands on his head. Oh, he felt strange. Again, he had the overwhelming feeling that his Bollo persona had become more than just a character he played on stage or in a tv show. He looked around for a moment, trying to place himself, and then started for the door that he felt was the right one.

"I got a bad feeling about this."

Dave stopped. Was that him? Why was he doing the Bollo voice? In fact, why had he just blurted out his catch-phrase in front of no one? He really did have a bad feeling about this.

"Dave! Finally! We thought you'd died!" Julian came over and clapped Dave on the shoulder in a brotherly fashion. Instead of stumbling forward – as he normally did when jostled while in the Bollo suit – he stayed stationary. Julian gave him a strange look and petted his hairy shoulder.

"Whoa, Dave, did you get this dry cleaned or something?"

Dave wanted to laugh. He often joked about taking the stinky suit to the dry cleaners himself when the smell was bad enough. He couldn't remember taking it though. As far as he knew, it was still just a joke.

"Bollo no understand what boring man is talking about."

Julian looked shocked and then laughed, "Nice one Dave." He petted the top of Dave's head, gave him another funny look, and then walked away without another word.

Dave wasn't compelled to follow him. Something inside him told him that Julian wouldn't understand what was happening anyway. It was Noel that he needed to find.

"Oi, Dave! Where've you been? You promised me lunch you moppet!" Mike, in full Naboo getup, came jogging up to Dave, grinning, "You thought you could get out of it by playing monkey?"

Dave gave Mike a confused look, "Bollo no understand. Who Dave? Naboo must be high."

Mike laughed, "Oh, come on Dave. Stop being a berk. You've had your laugh. Take that suit off, let's get some lunch before Herr Peter cracks the whip again."

"Bollo think everyone playing big joke. Bollo no fall for it."

Mike laughed again but his amusement soon fell away as he realized Dave wasn't playing games, "Come on Dave. Enough is enough."

Dave – or whatever he'd become – was starting to lose patience. He didn't know who or what Mike was talking about.

"Bollo not know any Dave! This not funny, Naboo!"

Mike knew. Sometimes, Mike just knew. Now was one of those times. He could just tell that something was wrong.

"Alright – Bollo. Come with me and we'll sit down and take a load off."

"That sound better." Dave – Bollo – muttered.

Mike lead Dave – Bollo – to the canteen, where he sat him down on the couch, gave him a banana, told him to wait, and went to find Noel. Noel would know what to do. Noel always knew what to do.

"Bollo no like bananas. Naboo should know that."

Mike found Noel with Julian, outside having a smoke and chatting about nothing.

He interrupted them, "We've got a problem."

Julian looked concerned but Noel just shrugged him off, "We've always got one problem or another, Mike. Relax a bit."

Julian – as the relative dad of the group – metaphorically stepped forward, "What is it, Mike?"

"Dave thinks he's Bollo."

Noel snorted, "What?"

Mike looked impatient, "I'm serious, Noel. Dave seems to think he's Bollo. I couldn't get him to stop."

Julian looked thoughtful, "Come to think of it – "

Noel sighed impatiently, "Don't tell me, he was acting weird around you, as well?"

"Yes, actually."

This only made Noel roll his eyes, "Well he was perfectly normal with me earlier."

Mike was panicked still, "When? How long ago?"

"About two hours ago." Noel checked where his watch should be and, finding nothing there, grabbed Julian's arm, checking his instead. He nodded, "Ten o'clock, yep."

"Well you can go look in the canteen now, Noel. He isn't Dave anymore. I'm sure."

Noel laughed, "This is a good joke, Mike, but we're not falling for it. Sorry, bro."

Mike practically growled, glaring at Noel, "We're. Not. Joking."

His tiny stature made him seem less imposing, but when he was angry he seemed to grow.

"Alright! I'll come, I'll come!" Noel held up his hands in defeat and stood up, ready to follow his little brother. Julian, ever skeptical, didn't get up as quickly.

Noel turned around, hands on hips, "Oh, don't think you're getting out of this." He grabbed Julian again and yanked him up out of the chairs, marching towards the door.

Dave – Bollo – was reading a magazine and muttering about terrible djs when Mike, Noel, and Julian entered the room.

"Dave?" Mike sounded meek and worried.

Dave – Bollo – didn't even look up, instead focusing on the magazine.

"Oi, Bollo! What're you doing, you crazy muffin?!" Noel chose the Vince approach.

Dave – Bollo – looked up, shocked, "Bollo just reading about dj technique." He held up the magazine in his huge gorilla hand and then tossed it on the table, "This some sort of intervention?"

Noel walked over to the couch and plopped down next to Dave – Bollo – hoping the others would pick up and follow his lead. Julian – ever the quick one – did and crossed his arms over his chest. Mike, on the other hand, just wrung his hands.

Noel rubbed Dave – Bollo – roughly on the top of his head and pulled, trying to see if the mask would come off. It didn't budge.

"You feeling alright, Bollo?" Julian – now Howard – stepped forward.

Dave – Bollo – looked confused and a bit agitated, "Why everyone acting so strange? Bollo feel fine."

Noel – now Vince – knew it would be a bad idea to agitate Dave in his Bollo-like state. He tried to smooth things over, "No worries, Bollo. We're just curious, is all."

Suddenly, Mike – who still hadn't gotten the point – exploded, "Dave, what are you doing?! This isn't funny anymore!"

Dave – Bollo – was shocked by Mike's outburst. Noel – still Vince – took this opportunity to try the first thing he thought of. He threw himself at Dave – still Bollo – and pressed his lips to the great gorilla's. For a moment, nothing happened.

Then, Noel – really just Noel now – noticed a change. The lips went from warm and alive to cool and plastic. He felt the life leave the Bollo suit and go back to its inhabitant.

Noel backed away, grinning, "Who knew that would work?"

Julian looked shocked and exasperated, "What made you think to try that?!"

Dave moaned and tugged the Bollo head off, "What's going on? Why do I want a banana?"

Mike just crossed his arms and looked scared, "Since when do things like this happen off set?"


End file.
